Gutfeld! : FOXNEWSW : July 8, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT : Free Borrow & Streaming : Internet Archive (2024)

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that number that's on the screen. call that number and may god bless you. [ ♪♪ ] >> sean: unfortunately that is all the time that we have left this evening. thank you for making that show possible. never ever missed an episode of "hannity" i have good news. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. have a great night. [ ♪♪ ]

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's p1 yes! yes! yes. yes. you, you. all right, you as well, parking lot after. happy monday everybody. president biden participated as you know in a 22 minute with george stephanopoulos. but sadly, when joe heard it was stephanopoulos he assumed it was this fellow. snuffle. in a recent interview dr anthony fauci says he has quote, no doubt that joe biden is capable of serving as president. he says if biden was really old and weak he would have had him killed with covid.

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true. according to a report biden staff prepares notecards for an event with large print and photos including instructions for finding a podium. how big were these notecards? here is one of them. anyway, some democrats have suggested holding a celebrity led primary. this is to replace biden featuring weekly forums hosted by big names like oprah, and taylor swift. meanwhile, biden suggested a few others such as elvis presley, betty white, and bob hope. they are all dead. several democrats in congress are calling for biden to step down including jerry nadler. have to hand it to nadler. that takes a lot of balls. he cannot even see his.

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joe biden says he will drop out if god tells him to. that seems pretty easy. god's on -- god was on fox and friends earlier. [ ♪♪ ] >> greg: god, thank you for being here. >> tell joe to get his liver spotted person else of the white house. i will not send you to hell, because you were already on fox and friends. >> greg: think so much, appreciate it. he will do our show. anyway, according to people magazine actress margot robbie is pregnant with her first child. we were able -- already able to get a sonogram of the baby. [laughter] >> so an relatable.

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[laughter] >> greg: here we go. remember harvey weinstein? the sex fiend? so awful he stood out in an industry where pepper spray is a condiment? remember what he first said when accused? weinstein said if you forgive him his mission would be to send donald trump into retirement. he said that would deflect us away from his depravity. it was a depravity, we found out later, that all of hollywood and knew about but ignore it like a script for bridget jones diarrhea. so, either the weinstein accusations were going to blow up, or harvey was going to cover his ass with enough trump hate to beat the rap. they were just too many victims and they were talking loudly. does that not sound exactly like what is happening now? that scary dog that your whole neighbourhood hated, the biden dementia story has escaped the yard. barking and leaving a trail of

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poop behind it. once again, trump hatred is the weapon of mass distraction. >> this election remains about one thing and one thing only. the threat of losing our democracy. none of this absolves the media on the democratic establishment of their failures, but american politics right now is a big building on fire. >> we have two candidates, one stands for democracy, and one does not. that is the beginning and the end of the realization that voters need to have. biden's condition, whether it is tiredness or something else is something that is not irrelevant but it is almost irrelevant. >> greg: what a sanctimonious phony. anyway, you see the weinstein strategy used. we must beat orange hitler to promote jo's awfulness and senility. with that work this time? no. confidence in joe is fading like a spray tan on his pinched, empty face. just like hollywood coverage for

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harvey because they gained from it we see that the media has been covering for joe's sagging ass. why you chose to sink -- disintegrated those who called out joe's capacity were denigrated or ignored like jesse waters at a nude beach. meanwhile, the times, washington post, access, and all of the others obsessed on a flag outside... were endlessly bombarded with russian collusion tales, la fill, tales of january six insurrectionists. what do all of these tales have in common? trump hate as destruction. to the left it is a giant scandal vaccine injecting trump as hitler into the narrative. you can cure any bad publicity for the left. the side effect -- the side effect is you will lose your hair. suddenly, now are shocked media is running with the story full blast. after ignoring that joe ran his 2020 campaign from his basem*nt that he regularly called it a day at 11:00 am back in 2019.

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we saw pictures of his note card with presubmitted questions and answers from reporters. now videos once dismissed as right wing cheap fake are shown as proof by the very same media outlets. before the debate, there were bogus clips of... being nice to orphans. true, our president has not been running this joint for the last four years and the media as they're not interested in asking who has. it has not been kamala harris. she reads to children and their literacy scores drop. crazy. i call this award p*rn it. the media learned very quickly that to win awards, do nothing but exposes on trump. they were handing out elixirs for russian exposes like they were shots of ozempic in the news green room. but you never win awards for exposing democrats. that would be like a vampire biting the neck of another

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vampire. meanwhile, the biggest dc scandal of our lifetimes, our president is vegetable adjacent? has been ignored for years. instead, heaping helpings of climate change, please malfeasance, diversity in the military, and gender [beep]. why is the media now suddenly feeding on joe's carcass? like nancy pelosi and a hijacked blood mobile? once the story escaped with their electrified fence and ran free in the wild it became a moneymaker. the great joe biden dementia scandal is suddenly getting the clicks from the general audience. unlike the red, swinging meet the immediate usually feeds their left-wing debate. now they are just not covering their asses they are covering their mortgages. ass crack reporters tried desperately to paint themselves as noble investigators they are also trying to get us to believe that democrats are aerobic for turning on joe but you were not a hero when you were caught lying in. that is why they gave back all

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of my bet awards. suddenly, the media, they are all truth tellers. even jerry nadler is questioning joe's fitness and he looks like a parade float with a slow leak. let's not forget the other hoaxes. russian collusion, find people. the media did not see them as hoaxes because they made them. we do not miss them. as the old saying goes, i am the guy doing his job, you must be the other guys. [applause] >> let's welcome tonight's guests! he puts the brother in... brothers. as a former... she has dedicated her life to fighting... sorry ladies, he is single.

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and, she knows your dirty laundry because she steals from laundromats. >> greg: i have yet to hear from you about the stories because i never see you because we are working at different times what is your take on how the media is now shifting into i am an investigative reporter? i am an investigative reporter? >> the barn opening door at the acknowledgement was fantastic because the debate was it. that was not a cheap fake. everybody was like what the hell is going on? the crazy thing is i remember when they did this big investigation joe biden probably committed a lot of crime but he is too feeble to stand trial. so biden says i am an elderly man i do not know what the hell i am doing. dude. [laughter]

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>> this was how many months ago. this is crazy! it is in plain sight. he has been saying crazy things. we have to look the other way. the juneteenth celebration. and then this sunday he was at the black church. and it looks like he wanted to call the police. [laughter] >> a whole gang of paddy wagons. we will have to start this later. the face. did you see him at the church? >> greg: yes. >> he was scared as hell. [laughter] >> our guy had to show him how to get out. he was like what? [laughter] >> like take your money back. i am biden, dammit. this whole thing has been so amazing to watch. >> greg: i wish i was only

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having half as much fun as you are but i am trying. so morgan, you are a national security expert i believe is that correct? >> i play one on tv. >> greg: what kind of risk does joe pose for americans if you were not to resign in the next six months? >> that is when this whole thing started especially during the debate the first few minutes i was like wait a minute, this guy should not be president right now much less running for reelection. the media, the democrats they are so dishonest they know he cannot go for four more years. they just want to be trump and get him over the finish line and then install the vice president. so i mean i think what is scary about it is even if you dropped out today and he remained president that is still seven or eight months until january a lot can happen until then we have new orders and chaos. i would remind everybody that we have known that this is going on with the media for a long time. and the second term of the obama administration, a long interview with the new york times where

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the media was called the blog. brad, behind the obama team manipulated the washington... was such contempt for them he called in the blob. this has been around for a long time. >> greg: i was the blog was -- blob with an affectionate term. jeff, i don't know what to ask you what that moustache. >> i know. >> greg: hammock -- how long have you been doing adult films? >> for a long time in my own house. but taking it to the next level. >> greg: solo films. >> i did this for you, baby. >> greg: so i have not talked to you either i love hearing everybody's take on this because for once almost everybody agrees. >> a lot of the subjects i feel like it i am going crazy.

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it has been four years of jokes and we are finding out just now that everybody is going maybe he is getting too old. maybe you feel like you are insane like we said this. listen to him, look at him. and they go what a trope. i cannot believe you were going to say that. meanwhile that were commenced -- arguments are they are or -- look at his hair he is orange! this is not a phase it has been happening for so long it feels very strange. >> greg: you would be shamed if you talked about his poor health but they are the ones putting him out there. >> yes. >> greg: who is worth the people going back i is sick or the people going yes, he is sick but let's do it anyway. let's give grandpa the key to the car. we do not condone that, by the way. do not give that to babies. cats, what is your take on this lovely monday evening?

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>> you know what is crazy when he said he had oil cancer? two years ago. >> greg: to -- that is true. >> two years ago he said i have cancer. i know he says many americans have been affected by cancer. like we all heard it which is why i agree it is crazy. what is even crazier to me is the ones that are still holding out. that clip, there was also debbie on cnn. she was like it is frustrating how people are dissecting every word that he says. he is the president of the united states united states! standing there ignoring the fact that trump is a felon. i am like, well that is a take. the media is not covering that? what planet are you on? >> greg: trump remains the most vented president in history. we know everything and we accepted it. he was challenged by republican candidates. >> that is what i am more

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interested by. because finally it is okay two years after the oil cancer announcement saying this is kind of weird, guys it. the ones that still do not want to. why do you not want to know? this is supposed to be a return to normal? is this normal to you. >> biden wrote that letter this morning. and he took on the democrats. who will challenge? of course he dropped out because he was on the brink. he is thinking that i am watching them go at each other now. >> greg: biggest mistake. i think the letter was a big mistake challenging the democrats but that is what they want because they want to go. republican should want him in. right? >> there might be five or six commercials in that letter already. i would just film commercials left and right. >> greg: that is amazing. we have more to come. she has worked with joe for a while and did not tell you that

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he is senile. did i read this? did i get eggs? where are my keys? memory and thinking issues keep piling up? it may be due to a buildup of amyloid plaques in the brain. visit morethannormalaging.com

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hey. you seein' this? wait... where's the dish? there ain't one.

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you're tellin' me you can get directv — the good stuff — and you don't need a satellite dish? oh, i used to love doin' my business on those things! you're one sick pigeon. them dishes kept the rain off our beaks! we just have different priorities is all. satellite-free directv... never thought i'd see the day. well, our lifespans are quite short... stream directv without a satellite dish. i'm going to do this thing with my neck, just for a bit.

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by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today. >> greg: it can no longer be denied. the vp live let's watch her uncanny ability to lie about show senility. kamala harris to be getting in the fall of last year was repeatedly asked about biden's competency. over and over again she defended, downplayed, and dismissed. she said joe biden will be fine. >> joe biden will be fine let me tell you something. i work with joe biden every day. this whole issue that they are raising about his age is again because they have nothing to run on. this is somebody who is tireless in terms of working on behalf of

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the american people. age is more than a chronological fact. not only, is he absolutely authoritative in rings around the world but in the oval office. >> she cannot say anything else. if there was a problem... >> i am not lying. >> if there was a problem. >> i'm telling you a fact. >> but if there ever was a problem do you think you could tell the american public? >> of course,, if necessary but there is no need for that. >> greg: but if she had a brain eating worm it would be applying for food stamps. the fact is, if she ends up being the nominee which is looking like the case, this cover-up is not going away. she is right in the middle of it. you could argue that she is truly ignorant of joe's mental state but then you would be also be arguing that she is a [beep]

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moron. but she is either stupid or lying to the american people that her brought -- boss is not brain-dead. morgan? >> yes. >> greg: i will give you three options. okay. >> greg: she is lying, stupid, or drunk. >> all of the above. she is so awkward. she is like a boomer data on tinder. she is so awkward she is like hunter biden's browder -- browser history. i am trying to be as funny as jeff tonight. is it working? >> just look in the mirror, morgan, for god's sake. >> listen. >> i didn't say that. [laughter] >> greg: what do you think? >> i turned 42 by the way on wednesday i will take the complement. >> greg: 42! all right.

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[laughter] >> greg: try to stick to the issue, morgan, for god sake. >> i turn up 36 on october 29th! [cheering and applause] >> greg: as leo dicaprio would say you were both too old. [laughter] >> greg: i will move on after asking just one more question. in the democratic party push her aside being a female of cover? >> she is the best choice for them i feel like we should stop making fun of biden because if she is the nominee everybody who opposes her is racist and sexist. so they will replay the obama 2008 stuff in 2012. anything you say critical of her will be racist. all they are going to do is go after women and make them feel guilty like we have to vote for her because we all share ovaries, supposedly if you believe that is what makes a woman. >> greg: yes. [applause] >> greg: i do. i do not condone sharing ovaries. [laughter] >> greg: jeff, what do you...

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do you think she will be on the top of the ticket? or will she be on the ticket? >> i think they would take care of this problem before it gets to that. i think this has some real anna nicole smith vibes. why is everybody acting like i have something to gain? why is everybody talking about his age so much? everybody drop the whole age of thing. liked yes, you are going to be the president that is what is happening. >> greg: yes. >> greg: but she acts like that is what is not happening. you guys are all hacks. >> greg: she is with him every day hiding behind him going boom! [laughter] >> exactly. >> greg: cats, the thing is, let's say she is in a debate, the big issue is the cover up they will be covering it up like you just lied to the american people. >> she will respond with a wild

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word salad that has nothing to do with what was asked and people will move on that is what will happen. every time she has asked the question sees as a bunch of stuff that is not what she was asked. >> venn diagram? i love a venn diagram. >> buses and then diagrams. >> greg: a little girl on a school bus. >> also this makes sense maybe why she never does anything. maybe she actually noticed it really early on, you have to, probably. and she was like you know what? i would like to take the steppingstone while also distancing myself from this band. >> greg: right. maybe she is the smartest one of all. >> yes saying i am around. but how often are you thinking about... going out and doing that? >> greg: she has not done anything at all. maybe that was her strategy. >> targeting to board and we saw what happened there. i have to say, i think there might be something to the idea

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that she knew the deal the whole time. but you have to look at this, she is the first person to lose in the democratic primary. the very first person kicked out. ironically one week before... was playing with her. coming from dc and we were chatting and she was like i know this guy. not exactly from where i was but then we were having a good time and talking i felt soy for her because she wanted somebody to notice her so bad. at the top of the ramp some girl stopped, hey,, camelot i love you! but i can't vote for you i am canadian. so then before she left she said can you come on my show? >> she said yes. i said, making money with... on fox dinner. she was like... >> greg: yes. >> she was so upset. but the point is i think that she knew this all the time. i really do.

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on the cusp of becoming the democratic presidential nominee. the first person who lost to the democratic nomination, somehow she weaseled her way to the very top. >> greg: what about that video where she goes on not by you and? and then there was a long pause and then some lies. >> yes. >> greg: she will be great for us. [laughter] [laughter] >> greg: he said selfishly. gets really carried away. cks gr. look at that! swiffer wetjet. (bell ringing) someone needs to customize and save hundreds with liberty mutual! (inaudible sounds) (elevator doors opening) wait, there's an elevator? only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, ♪ ♪ liberty. ♪

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more unhinged than... a job. hit it! >> delegates, we can do this work. we must do this work. we get to do this work. we will do this work because our constituents are depend take us to win all of the things! yes, we have to win all of the things! all of the things! all of the things! our colleagues are depending on us to win all of the things! keep going to preserve democracy! we must win all of the things! delegates, we will not go back! we will keep going forward! we are the nea!

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we are the nea! and that is what we do. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: she raises a very important question, what are all the things? [laughter] >> greg: cats, what are all the things? cats, do you know? >> everybody is making fun of this but i thought it was not that bad. >> greg: explain. >> comparatively the thing that we have been hearing from teachers unions over the past couple years at least she was saying that they should work. [laughter] >> what? do you guys not remember that for two years? teachers were like it is not safe for us to work. actually the thing about school is no. they were like, they mentioned students as being a thing they were concerned about. i mean on the list of issues

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with teachers unions this was comparatively great. none of the things! >> greg: jeff, you claim to be a performer. >> yes. true. >> greg: amateur. how would you rate her performance? >> terrible. it was so vague and disingenuous i do not even touch the holy ghost at these types of things. [laughter] >> i do not know that you could catch the holy ghost. that is allowed anywhere? very awkward and weird that is why we are criticizing this because it is just and genuine. you say a bunch of bad things about a subject does not do anything i just boils everybody up like snake oil those men you see it on the view. every sentence of the view if you ever watch show is just some limit rick that gets a bunch of women in the cloud to -- crowd to crap. but why do we need men? [applause] >> so it is like they will say nothing in a confident kind of

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limit rick and then everybody... >> greg: you just identified this thing that grew out of i think nineties talkshows where men are no good! everybody is like yes! something cliché. >> we do that hereto. >> greg: never. charles! >> education and children. she never mentioned that. >> greg: so nondescript. >> the fact that our kids are freefalling against the rest of the world in terms of education. i mean, if you were going to do something to your job, your real job. forget about being in politics in all of the fear mongering we are tired of that stuff because what i am really afraid of are the kids you have to go to her schools and graduate unprepared for a world with amazing opportunities. we are living in the most amazing time in the era of human

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history that, by the way, most of the... in this country say a lot -- large swath of our children are percipient in it. >> greg: crazy, creating our own enemies and recall in equity and social justice. >> they make that crop up to make up for the fact that they have so little fast -- faith in little plaque at johnny and kindergarten that you give him a watered-down test so by the time he graduates 12th grade he can operate at a seventh grade level. it is a foster deal. some companies will give you free food and housing. luckily more and more black people are rejecting that and sing no, i want the american dream. give my kids the most rigourous education that you have. this woman is a dinosaur and i hope she is on her way out. >> greg: last word to you, morgan. you have children, correct? >> i have a doctor. >> greg: do you sent her to school or do you homeschool? >> i sent her to preschool. only one year and a half.

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>> greg: pretty slow child then. can she speak to languages yet? >> yes, she is an emergent school. >> greg: all you thought i was being a jokester. what you think of this? >> first of all i thought it was [beep]. i watched the part of the video where this woman was under fire for spinning $8000 for a three-day hair appointment. when i saw the video i was... [laughter] >> yeah! i just want to say, i expected more. if you were going to spend $8000 of taxpayer money i would you know. >> you do not know what the before picture is. >> that could be $8000 worth of work. >> we do not know. maybe she went to the salon and she said give me all the things! >> greg: all the things! nicely done. on that note, he stole luggage 0

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>> fox nation sensational hit show burst back into action. do not miss all new episodes of crime can 24/7. exposing new crimes. and delivering swift justice.

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crime can 24/7. new episode friday on fox nation. >> speaker-07: no jail time for brinton! jeff, let me explain this to you. nonbinary ex officio... staff pled guilty to petite varsity that is larceny that you saw. a pleated deal with no jail time. so gets away with the letter of apology undergo a mental health evaluation, would have been nice to do that before you got the job. you know, if this were you, stealing people's luggage, you would be in prison. >> i do not know how they would deal with me. cleanup as well as this gal. >> greg: yes. >> but you still one bag does that make you a bag thief? >> greg: yes.

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>> more than one. >> greg: how many times? >> this is a repeat offender who keeps getting away with this. also what a weird crime? like how is this... he's got problems! but he is in charge of nuclear stuff! and they probably did not give him a mental evaluation because they did not want to cross any offend anybody. >> greg: i'm willing to do it here and now. i will look at this image my mental evaluation? crazy. [laughter] >> greg: please work locally. >> it is obvious to me that he is unwell but you cannot say that these days. even when they wear it on their sleeve you cannot say that this guy has problem. shaved head, a moustache like that, a red dress he steals from some lady at the airport. that is somebody who is unwell. >> but what are the odds that he steals suitcases for dresses?

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>> greg: a good point. >> looking at the lady on the plane. >> that is what he is doing. i know something is up. i remember that she was like my stuff is gone! and then how did that happen? anyway. [laughter] >> i think the crazy thing is you said how much jail time would anybody else get? that is a lot. that is serious stuff. i think they called this cried petite. >> greg: yes. it is like when you shoplifted little tiny saucers. i have a petite larceny, please? a very strange, morgan. again, i go back to your defence expertise. this guy, he was in charge of nuclear waste disposal? >> it brings a whole new meaning

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to the phrase pitch stole it might look. normally, typically, you'd do have these men to evaluations of fort security clearance like you're looking at somebody's background, looking at are they trustworthy? their finances? you were supposed to have, especially if you are in charge of the nation's nuclear secrets you were supposed to have a fullscope investigation into one's life. i have a hard time i mean i would love to see what the investigators came up with. >> greg: just look in his wardrobe it is not hard to tell. he had to get his wardrobe at the airport because they did not pay him enough. >> there is no explanation for stealing a suitcase with mystery content inside. >> three times! >> greg: at least it is exciting! >> is it? >> greg: you do not what is in there. >> like a pack of baseball cards

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you do not know what you were going to get. i know i keep going back to the same thing but it is like how many suitcases do you think that he stole if he has been caught three times. >> greg: yes. >> he could be responsible for a lot of lawsuit cases. >> i also feel like maybe not because... >> maybe there was cameras at the airport. >> if you do crime you would want your pf to be a little bit how you're doing high risk crimes. but i want the apology. the fact that he got no jail time, apology letters obviously be asked i want to read it. >> greg: yes. >> i want to read the apology. how do you apologize for stealing you know when you have your back at the airport and it is a horrible day? i did that to you not even knowing what was in the letter. i want to read the letter. >> greg: they got my diary oh, no. >> what is crazy is chump time for -- jail time for trump in

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>> five more words. >> greg: bacon admits egg is better. charles, i love the story. kevin bacon, actor, reveal.

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>> 's hired a special effects makeup artist to disguise them in public but he hated not being recognized. he went to a ball and people pushed passed him and they were not being nice and he realized that i miss fame. is this a real story? >> it is a real story. he was like a fame! i have a little bit of fame and it has helped me out a lot. i remember there was a line outside around the corner around to the back and they so come here and took me all the way to the front. sometimes it works out for you. >> greg: you were that guy. >> i'm not kevin bacon but i can sell it. >> greg: arriving at the airport with rod stewart. >> i saw that happened recently with martha what's her name. >> greg: martha stewart? >> yes. i said to my brother somebody just walked to the front of the queue. i think the same moment just walked in front of everybody at security? i got on the plane and guess who i am sitting next to? i was like how the hell do you

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cut the line like that? i'm surprised. [laughter] >> greg:,, you know what is interesting. unlike me, i got famous as a fully formed adult so i understand what it is like not to be famous. perhaps somebody like bacon does not know what it is like to be obscure. that shocked him. >> i have never seen anything he is in. >> greg: really? not for those? >> its about a dance, right? >> greg: know, footloose is about a man who loses his feet. >> that is not true because then i would have watched it. >> greg: it is amazing with daniel day lewis. >> no chance, we are going to dance anyway, right? like i think i might as well or just... >> he lost all of his money to burning... so he is making one movie a month. i hope to see one of his movie soon. >> it is different big a famous actor like people either do not know who you are or they love you.

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it could be i do not know who you are, i love you, or you are ruining the country i hate you. >> greg: that is from kill meats wife. so, jeff. do you get recognized? probably not. >> no, not a lot. not a lot. i am just a regular guy. >> greg: you a regular guy. >> one, i am surprised he would say this. because you were supposed to act like even if you are really famous you have to be like i am no hero i am like everybody else. i take my coffee like everybody else. i want to criticize the article that said he had his hollywood person put a gun makeup to look like a regular person but in the article they showed this photo. [laughter] >> like you went around in the sleepy hollow. that is not how he was at the coffee shop. even more famous at a coffee shop. >> greg: they mistook him for

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biden. [laughter] >> ushered to the front by jill. but i think it is weird that he said it. but what he is what they think is he wanted to be himself again get back to who he is. >> greg: i don't think so i think you like the status. >> becoming can. >> greg: you get stuff for being famous, morgan. i'm sure you have gotten a lot. >> another get recognized -- i never get recognized. >> this is interesting the only time people come up to me at the airport is they say we love it when you were on gutfeld, you have a lot of fans. >> greg: isn't that all that matters? that your fame is based on me? if you cross me, morgan, you are dead. >> i have never been famous, i know you love to make front of me for that, thank you. but i do have an identical twin so this has always happened...

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[laughter] [applause] >> greg: what? >> if that p*rn a moustache is legit maybe you have a chance. but i always had to be nice because people would think that i am my sister. so people would come up to me and say you were sober to be at some event and i would say that is my identical twin. nobody would ever believe us. i was like seriously. and then she went to work for the cia and then people really thought that i was [beep]. >> greg: i always had my identical twin was caught masturbating on the lawn, and the airport and on soon. and at my house. on do not go away, we'll be right back. pige they'd rather name a team after socks! to be fair, we're not very athletic. we've always loved taking care of our home, from the gardening to any repairs that come up. but last year,

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Greg Gutfeld examines the news of the day through a satiric lens fused with pop culture.

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